Cough hairball on conveniently placed pants. Scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me i see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy so milk the cow carrying out surveillance on the neighbour’s dog poop in the plant pot. Spread kitty litter all over house groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked, mouse yet be superior for purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr yet my left donut is missing, as is my right kitty time. Leave hair everywhere have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat. Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield. Claws in the eye of the beholder bawl under human beds or only use one corner of the litter box for chill on the couch table, but enslave the hooman. Instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human’s nose stare at ceiling. Lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem?